The Stance

Walking around campus again at the beginning of summer brought back some funny thoughts.

So, I'm walking around the bookstore spending my hard earned money on school supplies and I run into a friend. Of course. And yes. I have friends. Here's my friend with her bright smiling face walking towards me. Her voice calls out my name and I say hello and we commence in our conversation. After I finish in my errands and was walking home and ran into yet another friend. Yes, I am a very popular person. Then it happened. Just as it had earlier. The Stance. I was about to go, but The Stance isn't something you can just ignore.

Here's what the stance is:

1. The person comes at you smiling and happy to see you. Of course you're flattered by your friend because they say your name and even some times tag some pet name along with it.

2. You walk up with the same smile on, but not as ready to stop and talk.

3. They place their body in front of you in away that the only way to get around them would be rude or you'd knock into them.

4. Then they turn their whole being to you. Now you can't get out for at least 5 minutes and the conversation generally consists of "What have you been doing?" "How've you been?" "What's the year like for you?" "We should hang out sometime!"

The Stance is impossible to get out of without being or pretending you're in a hurry. If that is the case or you just don't want to continue in awkward conversation with a friend you're only friends with when you run into them I suggest running and yelling "Sorry! I'm late!" It works every time.

Schlitterbahn Shades

Geez it's hot out here. And bright. When did this happen? I guess it's what happens.

Yeah, yeah, yeah... don't complain it's hot and bright at least you get to look at everything a couple of shades darker and aren't solid black. Yeah. That's right I'm talking to you. You with the oily nose and eyelashes that are caked with that black crap that swipes all over me. I hope you get zits and your eyelashes fall out with all of your complaining.

Where the heck am I? There's fat people everywhere that really shouldn't be in swim suits. I don't understand lady, why are you wearing a bikini that is 3 sizes to small for you and you are at least 30 pounds overweight for it. Kind of disgusting if you ask me.

Oh and speaking of gross, what's the deal with all of those tattoos on those incredibly large people? Look at that chick, she's got partially nude women on her shoulder blades and that man has a tramp stamp. A tramp stamp? Really? Are you serious right now? Come on man! Grow some...

I really find it quite hilarious what these humans will go through. They wait for hours to ride on a water slide that lasts only 15 seconds max. BAH! Look this girl has been waiting for 30 minutes in the 100 degree weather standing on pavement that looks hotter than it is up here and probably burning her feet off just for a ride that lasts not even a quarter of what her wait was. Don't get it.

Oh, we finally made it to the end I was wondering. You better hold on to me stupid girl or I'm going to fall right off your face. HEY! I saaiiiid hooollllllld ooooooonnnnn.........

Frustration

Can I have my way JUST once?

When I want to achieve a goal,

can I just achieve it for once?

Can I have my way just ONCE?

When a guy walks into the room,

can he be mine first just once?

Can I have MY way just once?

When school gets hard

can I understand it completely just once?

Can I have my WAY just once?

When I think of my way

has God already given it to me just once?

The Other Guy

So this was just a random brainstorm. I could probably go with it more, but I don't really want to right now. :) Enjoy!

Yes, I am that guy. The other guy. That one guy who doesn’t get the girl in the end. It sucks. You hear all of these stories and see all of these movies about these couples that find each other after going through hell in their relationships, and then end up dumping their perfectly fine partner and romantically finding each other. Generally ending up in a long, slow motion, make out session complete with a orchestra and everything. Well, you never really realize what we go through during that scene at the gate of the airplane on your way to a destination wedding, at a train station, in front of a taxi cab, or in the rain after an argument. Do people not understand how really unfaithful this supposed “heroin” is being if she has someone like “the other guy?” I mean seriously, think about it: the girl is finally doing what is good for her and dumping that guy who’s been a jerk to her and settling down with the guy that can support her and love her and give her the life she deserves, but she dumps that perfect opportunity for the loser. By loser I mean that guy who doesn’t offer her any opportunities, but love and some decent sex. What in the world is going through her head? It’s not like the love with guys like me (the other guy) is fake. It’s just as real as the other one. I just don’t understand what’s wrong with these girls.

Periodical Section

She glanced at him from across the large library tables.

Cute. Tall, dark, and handsome type. He dresses nice too. One of those guys you can tell tries to keep his appearance up. He looks intensely at his notes and dell laptop screen, studying, memorizing, reading. The pen in his ear twitches as he raises his full dark eyebrows in contemplation or realization.

The quietness is so loud it's distracting.

She looks at him again. Almost staring. As soon as he looks up, she acts as if she was looking at something else. He feels his warm stare on her face. She contently types more on her computer, making sure he can see her face even more with her extremely useful seat where everything he does is visible. Out of her peripheral vision she notices he's gone back to work. She watches him carefully, prepared to quickly glance out the window at the large grassy hill and slightly budding trees. He looks at her again and her preparation pays off until he gives her a sideways smile and an eyebrow raise.

The couple sitting on the outside hill cuddling in the freezing wind, studying, don't move.

He picks up his things and moves over. Keeping the same look on his face the whole time. He speaks to her in the silent words made for the library and takes the seat directly in front of her. The words don't come to her mouth, but the same expression is sitting gently on her face.

He motions over to the large shelves in the back of the library and mouths that he wants to show her something. They stand up and walk towards the ominous dusty shelves in the back. Her heart thumps loudly in her ears as she slowly begins to realize what is happening. Her stomach twists in knots as he takes the back of her head gently in his hand and pulls her closer. Closer. Until she slowly blinks.

He picks up his things and places them in his backpack and walks away.

Poetry

For Natalie

**Side note: These are pretty much ALL of my assignments from my Creative Writing class. THAT I LOVED! Enjoy

Lunch

Crunch

munch, munch, munch

Gulp-Gasp!

Crunch

“Delicious...”

An Introspective Query

Kyle Green Mirror. Why is it always the mirror that gets to me in the morning? I hate it. All I see is another guy. Someone who is so positively revolting I don’t know how on this god forsaken planet any other male could ever want me. My eyes are crap brown and my hair matches, what is interesting about that? I look the same as every other freaking American on the planet. It’s like when you see a bunch of Asians in a group together, they all look the same. I look the same. Crap, now I have to go and work for “the man” again. It’s a good thing I at least enjoy my job somewhat, now I can really take advantage of those kids in high school who would call me a faggot. While I’m busy at work, they’re sitting in their hell holes playing the very games I create while they munch on another one of mommy’s cookies. Mom, oh crap! I forgot to call her back again. I wonder if Dad knows anything about her talking to me, I guess he assumes she does, but since that fight...ah eff. I need to give up on that. Dang my pours are clogged.

Hatim Smith There he goes again. What is his deal? Does he honestly need to look at himself for that long? What a weird guy. How long have we lived together now? 2 months and he does the same exact thing every morning. Rolls out of bed into the bathroom, brushes his teeth for like 30 seconds, puts on wrinkled work clothes (including his florescent orange tie and dark brown corduroy pants) and thickly framed black horn rimmed glasses, and stares into the mirror for the next 30 minutes. At himself. Nothing else, but himself. He always looks like he’s brooding about something. What is his deal? Come to think of it, I’ve never seen him shower. He does kind of stink. You’d think a gay guy would care more. At least I think he’s gay. I do catch him checking me out occasionally. EH! That’s just too far, I really need to find another place to live.

Janet Green Why doesn’t Jim just get along with Kyle? That’s the same fight we’ve had for the past 8 years, since he was 16. Kyle’s gay. My little boy is gay, I’ve accepted that I won’t have any grandchildren, why can’t he just accept it too? Gay...my only son is gay. What’s wrong with that? Nothing. nothing is wrong. I remember when I would make him his turkey sandwiches with the crust cut off and he would immediately take it and squash it until the mayonnaise was dripping out the sides and the whole thing was paper thin. I didn’t think anything was wrong with that, so what’s the problem with him being gay? It’s just like smooshing your sandwiches-- just a preference--but in men... Oh when is that boy going to call me back?!

Jayne Thompson I wonder what Kyle is doing tonight? Probably just watching his scifi movies while he sits on his lovesac eating his puffy cheetos. Dang, I should call him. I wonder if his new roommate is ok? His insecurities generally don’t allow him to make friends very easily. I wish he was closer to Seattle instead of living in Newark. I think he’d be doing better, I don’t know though, maybe he is since the last time I talked to him. I wonder if his parents are still struggling with the concept. Probably. Since Dartmouth, they haven’t been on very good terms. His poor mother, I can still hear her crying on the phone to me telling me to make it be different. I don’t really understand what the big deal is, since the night after we...well after he discovered he was gay, I’ve been ok with it. Perfectly fine. I don’t know what the big deal is.

Learning in College

Introduction

There are a few things that one will learned when college teaches you. How to read, relationships, what not to do, sociology, and where ever there is free food you will find an incredulous amount of students.

How to Read

When I am in school, I generally don’t “learn” anything, per-se, it’s more of a let’s-see-how-many-pages-I-can-fit-in-without-sleeping kind of thing and an I-need-to-finish-this-assignment-so-I-can-pass experience. In reality, the information goes into my head as long as is needed and dumped as soon as the test arrives. The true learning doesn’t come until I’ve graduated with my degree and realize for the first time that “crap, I really didn’t pay much attention in college, did I?” So, in school, you don’t learn important information for life, you learn how to read that important information and hope that those thousands of dollars of debt you are in will hopefully pay off.

**[skip down to where ever there is free food...]

Finding Free Food

Now, picture this, you are now an undergraduate student walking to lunch and outside you see a ridiculously long line that starts in the distance from what looks like...oh yes...I think that is a table. What is the first thing that pops into your head? Food. Freaking free food. Best thing on the planet earth. Forget those quarters that have been sitting in your pocket weighing you down since 10 a.m. You don’t need the vending machine Jose Olé burrito anymore. You get free food. Even if it’s crap. It’s free. Now, let me weigh my opportunity cost here. Judging by that line, I’d say it’s about 30 minutes to the table. Am I really that hungry to sit in line and listen to the people behind me flirt relentlessly or should I just deal with my burrito?

Teddy is SIX!

My little brother

Teddy

Is six today

And

I am twenty-

One

Day the gap wonʼt

Seem

That big and we

Will

Know each other

Better

Start now than

Never

Because Teddy is

Six!

Listen.

Static is all that is coming out of those blasted speakers.

The shiny metallic knobs are turned, and it remains the same.

The volume knob makes it louder, but all that is heard is static.

Annoying.

The tarnished, bent, v-shaped antenna on the top is twisted and

contorted so much just for the same sound renders it useless.

A futile attempt to lengthen it brings out the same result.

Listen

Running Away

As the air goes in and out, in and out of my lungs,

the stress leaves my body with every breath.

As the air goes in and out, in and out of my lungs,

the small clouds of breath disappear with each stride I take, and my stress disappears.

As the air goes in and out, in and out of my lungs,

the cold air strikes at my lungs as I suck in the oxygen for my aching muscles.

Each stride I take I leave a footprint of the cold stress on the frozen ground.

As the air goes in and out, in and out of my lungs,

my legs start to follow the rhythm of my racing heart pumping oxygen in and out of my lactic acid filled muscles carrying away the stress with every beat, and my feet start to follow allowing my stress to disappear.

Rainy Day

Clinching jaw while coercing

through the rain.

Clock clicks loudly clinkering

through the house.

clink

clink

clink

Jaw grows tighter coercing

through the rain.

Rain tinks softly on the

window pane.

tink

tink

tink

Coming home with squishing

feet.

Listening to tiny feet

patter

through

the

house.

The Classroom

As much as I love to

flirt,

I donʼt like to hear it from

you.

Yes,

You.

The girl who giggles

nonstop.

The boy who tries

too hard.

Give

Up.

Nothing is going to happen.

Iʼm trying to pay attention.

You need some serious separation.

Please

STOP!

Substance of Life

Water

Is

Everywhere.

And yet, I am thirsty.

The blue plastic almost brings comfort

To my exhausted muscles.

My fingers fumble to find the strange ridges.

My hands find the surprisingly supple sides,

And they squeeze the substance of life into

My fatigued and enervated sense of being.

The spout slips softly between my teeth

And a new sense of hydration envelops.

My exhausted muscles

Found the serenity in the blue plastic

with the white letters.

Everywhere

is

Water.