The Stance

Walking around campus again at the beginning of summer brought back some funny thoughts.

So, I'm walking around the bookstore spending my hard earned money on school supplies and I run into a friend. Of course. And yes. I have friends. Here's my friend with her bright smiling face walking towards me. Her voice calls out my name and I say hello and we commence in our conversation. After I finish in my errands and was walking home and ran into yet another friend. Yes, I am a very popular person. Then it happened. Just as it had earlier. The Stance. I was about to go, but The Stance isn't something you can just ignore.

Here's what the stance is:

1. The person comes at you smiling and happy to see you. Of course you're flattered by your friend because they say your name and even some times tag some pet name along with it.

2. You walk up with the same smile on, but not as ready to stop and talk.

3. They place their body in front of you in away that the only way to get around them would be rude or you'd knock into them.

4. Then they turn their whole being to you. Now you can't get out for at least 5 minutes and the conversation generally consists of "What have you been doing?" "How've you been?" "What's the year like for you?" "We should hang out sometime!"

The Stance is impossible to get out of without being or pretending you're in a hurry. If that is the case or you just don't want to continue in awkward conversation with a friend you're only friends with when you run into them I suggest running and yelling "Sorry! I'm late!" It works every time.

Schlitterbahn Shades

Geez it's hot out here. And bright. When did this happen? I guess it's what happens.

Yeah, yeah, yeah... don't complain it's hot and bright at least you get to look at everything a couple of shades darker and aren't solid black. Yeah. That's right I'm talking to you. You with the oily nose and eyelashes that are caked with that black crap that swipes all over me. I hope you get zits and your eyelashes fall out with all of your complaining.

Where the heck am I? There's fat people everywhere that really shouldn't be in swim suits. I don't understand lady, why are you wearing a bikini that is 3 sizes to small for you and you are at least 30 pounds overweight for it. Kind of disgusting if you ask me.

Oh and speaking of gross, what's the deal with all of those tattoos on those incredibly large people? Look at that chick, she's got partially nude women on her shoulder blades and that man has a tramp stamp. A tramp stamp? Really? Are you serious right now? Come on man! Grow some...

I really find it quite hilarious what these humans will go through. They wait for hours to ride on a water slide that lasts only 15 seconds max. BAH! Look this girl has been waiting for 30 minutes in the 100 degree weather standing on pavement that looks hotter than it is up here and probably burning her feet off just for a ride that lasts not even a quarter of what her wait was. Don't get it.

Oh, we finally made it to the end I was wondering. You better hold on to me stupid girl or I'm going to fall right off your face. HEY! I saaiiiid hooollllllld ooooooonnnnn.........